Casting Out Fear
by chocolatequeen
Summary: A visit to a seemingly uninhabited planet will force the Doctor and Rose both to deal with deep-rooted fears they carry regarding their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

The dark woods on Teruro wouldn't make Rose's list of places to visit again. A cold wind whistled through the trees, cutting through the light jacket she wore, and she dropped the Doctor's hand to wrap her arms around herself.

The Doctor held the sonic screwdriver up and took a quick reading. "This way," he said, taking the path on the right. "Not far now."

Rose stared at the road ahead of them. Perhaps the dense forest wouldn't have seemed foreboding if the area weren't blanketed in a layer of fog. She knew the Doctor had better vision than she did—maybe he could see more than fifteen feet ahead of him, and that was why this planet hadn't put him on edge the way it had her.

She looked back, but the TARDIS had disappeared in the mist. _Well, of course it has,_ she reminded herself. _We've been walking here for at least ten minutes._

When she turned back around, she realised the fog had thickened. She could just barely make out the Doctor's figure, fading into the gloom. The vague awareness of a nebulous threat that had niggled at her from the moment they'd stepped out of the TARDIS blossomed into sharp fear. They were not alone in these woods, and the Doctor was leaving her behind.

"Doctor!" she shouted, running down the path. When she tripped over a root, she jumped back up and kept running, heedless of the stinging pain in her hands and knees.

Then the Doctor was in front of her, and he caught her, his hands on her elbows. "Whoa! Rose, what's wrong?" When he cupped her face in his hands, worry shone in his eyes. "You're terrified, love. What happened?"

"Something's—" Rose gasped for breath. "We're not alone. Something else is here, an' I don't think they're friendly."

His eyes narrowed and he scanned the forest. "What did you see? What did it look like?"

Rose shook her head. "I didn't see it." She would have felt coolish, but the pervasive sense that they were being watched—being followed—still pressed down on her. "I can just feel it."

Anyone else would have discounted such a claim, but she knew the Doctor believed her. "I wonder if…" he closed his eyes for a few moments, and when they snapped open a few moments later, she could see the cold power of the Oncoming Storm gathering behind them.

"Right. We need to go back to the TARDIS, _now_."

He grabbed her hand and started walking, but fear clawed inside Rose at the thought of walking toward it. "But… they're back that way," she said, hating the tremor in her voice.

The Doctor looked down at her, and the muscle in his jaw twitched. He held his hands just an inch away from her temples. "May I?" he asked.

Rose loved that he never took her permission for granted, even though she'd never refused him. She nodded, and his fingers touched her temples. A moment later, he was in her mind, his warm, comforting presence banishing the fear, leaving behind nothing but an urgent desire to get home. She grabbed onto him when he started to pull back, terrified to feel the oppressive fear again.

 _Trust me,_ he told her, and she let him go. His fingers left her temples, and she blinked up at him.

"Better?" he asked.

Yeah," she said, surprised. "How did—"

"I'll explain later. Right now, we really need to run."

They reached the TARDIS in less than half the time it had taken them to get that far away. The console room felt warm and cheery after the gloomy forest, and Rose almost hugged one of the struts in relief.

The Doctor could feel Rose's eyes on him, but forced himself not to look at her. He needed to get them into the Vortex without punching a hole in reality, and if he saw the fear on her face again, he might not succeed.

But once they'd left the planet, he raised his eyes, and the way she was hugging the TARDIS brought a smile to his face. "Tea?" he asked, holding his hand out.

Rose took it, and they walked toward the galley. "I was thinking wine."

The Doctor shook his head. "Tea first, to take care of any lingering effects. Then, wine after I've explained."

When he pushed open the door, they both stopped for a second. This was the library, not the galley, though he did spot two mugs of tea and a plate of biscuits waiting for them on the coffee table.

He scratched at the back of his neck. "I suppose the couch is a little more comfortable than the kitchen chairs."

"Just a bit," Rose agreed, a hint of her cheeky smile on her face.

The Doctor sat down in the corner of the couch with his mug in one hand, and the other arm wrapped around Rose's shoulders.

"What was that back there, Doctor?" she asked. "How come I could feel it, and you couldn't?"

Rose took his mug, and he reached over to the table for a biscuit. "They were… Well, I suppose you could call them psychic vampires." He dunked the biscuit and took a bite. "They drain their victims of mental energy."

"What?" Rose jerked, and a little tea sloshed over the edge of his mug onto his trousers. "Oops. Sorry, Doctor."

"It's fine, love." He popped the rest of his biscuit into his mouth, then set both their mugs down on the table and rubbed his hands up and down her arms soothingly. "They hadn't done anything yet. That fear you picked up on is what they use to drive victims to the colony so everyone can feed."

Rose's nose wrinkled, and her brow furrowed. "Your barriers kept you from feeling it, didn't they?"

The Doctor nodded. "I'd have walked right into their trap if you hadn't warned me." Her fear spiked again, and he quickly added, "Mind, they'd have had a time getting past those barriers to feed, and I probably could have gotten away, but it wouldn't have been pleasant."

"How do you know so much about what they were planning?"

"When you told me it was something you felt, I suspected our pursuer was telepathic, and I lowered my barriers, just for a moment. They aren't used to a trained telepath landing on their planet, and I caught quite a bit more than just the vague sense of dread they were projecting."

"I'm glad I couldn't get any of that, then," Rose muttered. "I was terrified enough as it was." She looked up at him. "Speaking of, you promised to explain why that went away."

The Doctor tugged at his ear. He didn't think Rose would be upset with what he'd done, and he would never regret helping her, but explaining the intimacy of it after the fact still made him a little nervous. The few times he'd connected with her telepathically before had just been to communicate.

"You needed to be able to block them out of your mind so you could run back to the TARDIS. I just… created a light link between us that allowed me to protect you with my own."

Rose picked up her mug and sipped at her tea. The Doctor watched her—she was obviously considering her next words carefully.

"Is that why I can still feel you in my head?"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** This update is long overdue. I wrote the end of chapter 1 and then got stuck, not knowing what to do next-or more accurately, not wanting to do what I'd set myself up for. But I finally accepted where the story was going, and it came really easily. There should be two more chapters of this story, and it will hopefully be finished before the end of April.

The Doctor froze for a nanosecond, his brain working rapidly to process Rose's question.

 _Is that why I can still feel you in my mind?_

Between the adrenaline rush of getting her to safety and the struggle to control his anger over the fact that she'd been subjected to such an attack, he hadn't realised the link between them was still open. But when he focused, he could feel it—a thin strand connecting him to Rose Tyler.

He backed away from the connection and shoved the dread to the back of his mind. Then he pasted a reassuring smile on his face before Rose even noticed her question had surprised him. "Just a few lingering effects," he said breezily. "It'll fade soon, and then you won't even be able to tell I was there."

He crossed his fingers where she couldn't see them. _I hope._

Rose leaned into him, and it took every bit of his self-control to keep from stiffening at the contact. "I kinda like it," she said quietly. "Do we have to get rid of it?"

The Doctor dropped his arm to rest on her shoulder, pulling her close. "There isn't really a choice," he said apologetically. "You aren't telepathic, so temporary contact is the most we can share."

His dread morphed into panic when he grasped the truth of what he'd just said, and he jumped to his feet. "You said wine, I think. Why don't you let me make supper, and I'll open a nice bottle to go with it? You just go… take a bath and relax. Teleru wasn't exactly the calm destination we thought it would be."

Rose gazed up at him, and he had a feeling he wasn't really fooling her with his nonchalant facade. But after a moment, she nodded her head slowly anyway and stood up.

"All right. A bath sounds lovely, actually. Just come knock on my door when it's almost ready, so I have time to get dressed."

The Doctor kept his smile on his face until Rose was out of sight, then he leapt to his feet and started pacing in front of the fireplace. "Oh, this is not good. This is very, very not good," he muttered, tugging on his hair. He could still feel Rose in the back of his mind. Her contentment jarred against his own frazzled nerves, and he kept his distance as much as he could, not wanting to alert her to his own mental state.

Hands pressed firmly against the mantle, the Doctor took a deep breath and stretched telepathic muscles he hadn't exercised in over two years. His barriers had become laughably thin, and he shored them up quickly, blocking his emotions especially.

Once his own thoughts were protected, he approached the link, steeling himself for what he might find. There was no way a human should be able to sustain a telepathic connection; it should have closed the moment he stopped consciously keeping it open. The fact that it had remained open stirred up a whole host of possibilities he didn't even want to consider.

The Doctor closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through the nose, letting it out slowly through his mouth. Despite the barriers he'd put up, he could still feel Rose, and her presence drew him in. Keeping away was giving him a headache, and he massaged his temples, trying to ease the pain.

He let himself edge closer, still trying to keep her from noticing his presence. The link shone brightly in the corner of his mind, and once he was close enough to feel the reality of it, there was no longer any doubt. The warmth of her mind was entwined around his cool strength in a way that was… unbreakable.

He backed away from the link—he refused to call it a bond—as quickly as he could with alerting Rose to his presence. The rapidity of his withdrawal exacerbated his headache, and he sank down onto the couch and put his head in his hands.

The Doctor's thoughts were all jumbled up. Had she always been telepathic, and he hadn't noticed? He dismissed that idea as soon as it came to mind. As empty as his mind had been when he'd met Rose, he would have recognised another telepath the moment he took her hand. Which meant she had somehow _become_ telepathic in the time she'd been traveling with him, and he had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly when that had happened.

The TARDIS pulled on a memory he'd tried to forget—one that was already haunting him tonight. His Rose, wreathed by the golden light of Time, her voice and the TARDIS' speaking together as they called themselves the Bad Wolf.

 _Rose and the TARDIS speaking together…_

The sound of a very large anvil dropping echoed through the Doctor's mind, and he looked incredulously at the ceiling. "You… you strengthened her latent abilities, didn't you? Took the mind she opened to you when she looked into your heart and reshaped it so you could communicate with her more easily."

The TARDIS' chime confirmed his suspicions.

"You had no right to do that!" the Doctor roared. "I promised her— _I promised_ —that your contact with her would always be superficial. You violated her trust, and mine."

His ship didn't sound the least bit repentant. Instead, with a montage of images from Margaret Slitheen's transformation through Rose's multiple attempts to pull open the console, she reminded him that Rose had known opening her heart could have extreme consequences, and had still chosen to do it. She'd been determined, in fact.

The Doctor's mind took the next logical leap. If Rose was already… telepathically inclined, or whatever, on the Game Station, then he'd formed a temporary connection with her when he'd gone into her mind to haze the memories of the previous hour.

 _And that's why it was easier connecting with her the first time I told her I loved her,_ he realised. Then with each successive occurrence of telepathic contact, the path between their minds became more solid, until… this happened.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. It didn't surprise him that he would do something like this, as alone as he'd been in his head since the war. But the thought that he'd forced a permanent bond on Rose without even discussing the possibility of it with her first sickened him.

He didn't even want to think about how _Rose_ would react to the news. She was more accepting of telepathy now than she had been when they'd first met, but this was a far cry from the courteous request-and-response he'd always adhered to.

The Doctor's imagination conjured several outcomes, none of them favourable. He purposely avoided looking at the timelines, not wanting to know exactly how badly things would go. Would she want to leave him? Demand to be taken home? Thinking of the pain that would bring made him ill—not for his own sake, but for Rose's. He had to find a way to make sure she didn't suffer for his rash mistake.

oOoOoOoOo

Dinner was a frankly torturous affair, during which the Doctor was forced to act as though everything were normal. Afterwards, while he was cleaning up, Rose came up behind him at the sink and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Want to put a film on in the media room and snuggle on the couch?" she suggested.

Between the feeling of her hot breath on his neck and the fleeting images he picked up from Rose, it took every bit of the Doctor's restraint to keep from shivering at her words. He turned around and took Rose's hands in his. "I wish I could," he said, putting as much regret behind his words as possible. "But I've got a bit of work I need to do tonight."

Her brows drew together in an adorably confused furrow. He knew what she was thinking—ever since their relationship changed, they'd had an unspoken understanding that the evening was their time together, and he was breaking that rule. But after a moment, he felt her absolute trust in him wipe away any concerns, and she smiled.

"Fine," she said, drawing out the word teasingly. "But don't spend too long tinkering. You know what they say, 'All work and no play…'"

The Doctor gasped and put a hand over his hearts. "Rose Tyler! Are you saying I'm dull?"

Rose's eyes twinkled. "Never!" She pushed herself up on her toes and kissed him quickly, then sauntered out of the galley with the air of someone who knows she's being watched.

Once she was out of sight, the Doctor sighed and slumped back against the counter, guiltily relieved to be alone. When Rose was standing right in front of him, it was almost impossible to resist the siren's call of her beautiful mind, pulling him closer. And when she touched him…

He shuddered. Rose's touch had always had a profound effect on him, especially when she learned to project her emotions through a caress. But when a touch telepath touches his…

The Doctor balked at the term bond-mate. Rose hadn't agreed to that. He might have presumptively formed the connection, but he wouldn't think of her in those terms.

He shoved his hands into his hair and growled. These thoughts weren't getting him anywhere. Stalking out of the galley, he sought refuge beneath the TARDIS console, where the mechanical workings of the ship would focus his mind on something besides Rose.

oOoOoOoOo

Rose woke up alone the next morning, which did nothing to calm her gut feeling that something was bothering the Doctor. He didn't join her in bed every night, but he did more often than not, and his absence, combined with his behaviour yesterday, unnerved her.

Their temporary telepathic link was still active, and it was tempting to use it to determine his mood. That felt a bit too much like snooping, though, so Rose eased away from the connection and got out of bed.

After showering and getting dressed in jeans, a burgundy shirt, and a hot pink jacket, she went to the galley, hoping to find him preparing breakfast. But the room was empty, and judging from the dishes in the dish drainer, the Doctor had already eaten—alone. Rose took a deep breath and pushed back her disquiet enough to eat a cup of yogurt and a slice of toast, then took her tea with her to the console room.

"There you are, sleepyhead!" the Doctor chirped as soon as he saw her. "I thought you were going to sleep the day away."

Rose stared at him. The teasing was familiar, but today it sounded rehearsed—maybe because she'd actually gotten up earlier than usual.

She tilted her head and took in his appearance. The henley and blue oxford he'd worn the day before had been exchanged for a light brown oxford and a dark blue tie. So he'd spent the entire night on his own, then showered, dressed, and eaten breakfast without seeking her company.

"Well, you know," she said, belatedly realising it was her turn to say something, "human, etc etc, sleeping half our lives away and all that."

He shook his head as he turned away from her. "Such a waste of time."

Rose walked cautiously down the ramp and sat down on the jump seat. "So, what are our plans for today?"

He looked at her over his shoulder and started adjusting the coordinates. "Well, actually, I discovered last night that I'm in need of a few rare TARDIS parts."

"Oh, fun," Rose said. "Junkyard shopping."

"Actually."

He hesitated, and she went cold.

"The best place to get all the parts I need isn't very human-friendly. Scratch that, they aren't human-friendly at all. So I thought…" He tugged on his ear. "Maybe you'd like to spend a few days at home? Talk to your mum, go out with Shareen…"

Rose felt as if her breakfast had just turned into a rock in the pit of her stomach. "Couldn't I just stay in the TARDIS while you go shopping?"

The Doctor looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "We both know that plan never goes well," he said wryly.

"Only when you end up getting into trouble and I have to come rescue you!" she retorted. "An' if you're just going shopping, that shouldn't be a problem, should it?"

Consternation crossed his face, and he shook his head. "I'd rather not run the risk," he said and crossed his arms over his chest.

Rose set her cup down on the grating and stood up. "What's going on, Doctor?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "I told you, I need to get some parts—"

"Do you think I can't tell when you're lying?" Rose forced herself to keep her body in a non-confrontational pose. "Tell me what's bothering you."

The Doctor spun on his heel and went around to the other side of the console, adjusting the controls as he went. "Nothing!" he insisted.

"Then why do I feel like you're trying to take me to Mum's and just leave me there!" Rose demanded, the accusation pouring out of her before she could stop it.

"What?" He looked at her around the time rotor. "Rose, I wouldn't—"

"It seems pretty convenient is all," Rose said, interrupting his denial. "The place you need to go for parts just happens to not be human-friendly? And the best thing would be if I went home? Sorry if I don't believe you, Doctor."

The time rotor chugged as soon as she spat those words out.

"What are you doing?" Rose shrieked. "You're not just dropping me off there!"

"I didn't do anything!" he insisted. "She's flying herself."

"Well tell her to knock if off," Rose retorted. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on—and I mean the truth this time."

They landed with a hard thud, and only her quick reflexes kept Rose from falling on the floor. The Doctor sighed and pointed at the door. "We might as well go out there," he said wearily. "She's not going to let us do anything else."

Rose looked behind her and realised the corridors were all sealed off. In her mind, she let the ship know exactly what she thought about her manipulation, and the hum she got in return was not apologetic in the least.

"We aren't done with this," she growled at the Doctor as she stormed out of the TARDIS.

A moment later, he stepped out behind her and shut the door. "I don't know what's wrong, though," he muttered. "I mean, I know why she brought us here, but she feels sort of queasy. Indigestion. Like she had to force herself to land."

"Well, you were the one who said she wouldn't let us do anything else," Rose muttered. "Where are we?"

The Doctor looked around at their cramped quarters. "I think we've landed in a cupboard," he said, then opened the door and led the way into the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

Two hours later, the Doctor leaned back in his chair in Habitation Three, currently doing service as the mess hall, and stared up at the black hole. This was the day straight from Hell, he was sure of it. All that was missing was a horned beast holding a pitchfork. He didn't know what his TARDIS had been thinking, landing them here—especially if she'd known she would be lost in an earthquake not an hour after their arrival.

On top of the argument with Rose, it was enough pressure to send stress hormones coursing through his system—superior biology or no. His telepathic connections to the TARDIS and Rose were all that kept him from spiralling into full panic.

The TARDIS seemed to be saying everything would be fine, but the Doctor couldn't see how—not if Zach wouldn't divert the drilling so he could find her. _How am I going to get us out of this one?_ He stole a look at Rose, sitting across the table from him.

She offered a pale version of her usual smile. "I've seen films and things, yeah. They say black holes are like gateways to another universe."

The Doctor shook his head. "Not that one. It just eats."

"Long way from home."

 _Why is she stating the obvious?_ he wondered, before he realised she was trying to start a conversation, break the ice.

Accepting the olive branch, he leaned forward and pointed up at the window where another star system was passing through the event horizon of the black hole. "Go that way, turn right, keep going for er, about, er, five hundred years, and you'll reach the Earth."

Rose slid her phone open and shook her head. "No signal. That's the first time we've gone out of range. Mind you, even if I could. What would I tell her?" She bit her lip and looked up at him. "Can you build another TARDIS?"

"They were grown, not built," the Doctor explained, feeling the pang of loss yet again. "And with my home planet gone, we're kind of stuck."

She had to feel his utter lack of hope—how could she miss it, as strong as it was? And yet somehow, instead of being pulled into it, Rose took a deep breath and nodded firmly. "Well, it could be worse. This lot said they'd give us a lift."

The Doctor pulled his gaze from the black hole and looked at Rose. "And then what?"

He was honestly curious—what kind of life did Rose envisage for them, assuming they did manage to leave the Sanctuary Base? Did she even realise what she was saying?

The sounds of the black hole seemed to crescendo as Rose turned and leaned slightly towards him, her hands pressed palm down on the table. Her dilated pupils made her brown eyes look darker than usual, and her mouth was drawn in a thin line.

"Well, that depends, Doctor. Are you gonna run out on me, or will you stick around?"

His hands twitched, and he clasped them in front of himself so he wouldn't reach for her. Touching her would open up the bond and make it impossible to avoid a conversation he still wasn't ready for.

Instead, he settled for looking into her eyes, willing her to see the truth there. "Rose Tyler, I will never leave you behind," he swore.

Her eyes narrowed, and he held his breath until he saw some of the tension ease out of her. "You weren't gonna leave me behind?"

He shook his head. "I promise, Rose, it was the furthest thing from my mind."

"Well then," she said, "we'll find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe."

Her right hand reached up and played with her large hoop earring, and the nervous habit belied the easy smile she gave him. The Doctor's guilt cut through him. Here she was, his Rose, making plans to live the rest of her life in the wrong century because he'd gone and lost their transport—and on top of it all, she was trying to hide her fears from him to keep him calm.

The silence dragged on, and finally Rose said, "Everyone leaves home in the end."

"Not to end up stuck here," the Doctor countered, not wanting to be consoled.

To his surprise, a faint blush crept over her cheeks. "Yeah, but stuck with you, that's not so bad."

"Yeah?" He felt pathetic, needing her reassurance, but there was no point in pretending he didn't.

She grabbed his hands and squeezed. "Yes."

He couldn't stop his own relief and love from flooding their fledgling bond, and Rose dropped his hands as if she'd been burned. "What was that?" she asked, staring at her own hand. "It was like… I can always sorta tell what you're feeling, but nothing like that!"

The Doctor took a deep breath, but before he could speak, Rose's phone rang. They shared a frustrated look, then looked at the mobile device. Rose's hand shook slightly as she picked it up and hit the send button.

oOoOoOoOo

By the time they'd met the Ood and discovered the unfortunate fate of Scooti, Rose had almost forgotten about the zing of electricity she'd felt when she took the Doctor's hand. They were both mentally and physically spent by the events of the day, and when Ida showed them to the room that would be theirs as long as they were on Krop Tor, Rose barely managed a polite thank you before closing the door in the other woman's face.

As soon as the door was shut, she moved to take off her clothes, eager to strip down to her cami and knickers and cuddle up next to the Doctor. To her surprise, he put a hand on her elbow before she could even unzip her jacket.

"We should probably stay in our clothes. Never know what's going to happen in the middle of the night on a sanctuary base in orbit around a black hole."

Rose stared at the Doctor, who pointedly ignored her gaze. There was something going on that he still hadn't explained, some reason why he wanted to avoid physical contact. Then she remembered the spark of connection with crystal clarity, a clarity that brought with it the painful realisation whatever had caused that connection, the Doctor was unhappy about it.

Rose shrugged off his touch and crossed her arms over her chest. There was no way she could hide how hurt she was, so why bother trying?

The Doctor's eyes widened and he reached for her, only to drop his hand before he touched her. "I swear Rose, I'm not… I'm not rejecting you or…" He let out a frustrated huff of air. "I want to explain it to you, but I just…"

She tilted her head and looked at him, taking in the tense line of his body and the pleading expression in his eyes. What truly convinced her though was the distress she could feel over their temporary connection.

"You promise that when we get home, you'll talk to me about whatever is going on?" she asked.

His smile was tired, but sincere. "I swear."

"Okay then." She went back to unzipping her jacket. "I'll stay in my shirt and even my jeans, but I'm not keeping this on overnight. I'd never be able to sleep."

The Doctor nodded and let out a long breath, then undid his tie and shed his suit jacket.

He stretched out on the bed, and Rose bit her lip as she looked down at him. "Can I cuddle up next to you, or is that against whatever rules you've set?"

Uncertainty flickered across his face, and despite her best efforts to keep a brave face, she slumped. "All right, fine," she muttered and perched stiffly on the edge of the bed.

A moment later, she heard the sound of covers rustling, and then his long, lanky body wrapped itself around hers. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't think about how I might hurt you."

Rose couldn't relax into his hold, not if he was only offering it because he thought she wanted it, not because he actually wanted to touch her himself. "It's fine, Doctor," she lied, trying to sound nonchalant. "There's a lot going on; I can handle one night without cuddling next to you."

He made a sound of disagreement in the back of his throat, and the next moment, he kissed her neck. "But what if I don't want you to?" The hand on her waist tugged. "Please, Rose."

Considering how distant he'd been since their side trip to Teruro, Rose was surprised by the genuine need she felt from him. She rolled over and curled against his side, letting him wrap an arm around her shoulders to hold her close. Her right hand was spread out in between his hearts, and they sped up when she slung a leg over his.

The connection between them hummed at the edge of her mind, almost impossible to ignore. Despite agreeing earlier to discuss it when they got home, Rose was tempted to press the issue now.

"Please," the Doctor whispered. "Give me tonight."

Rose stretched up and pressed a kiss to his neck. "Tonight," she told him.

oOoOoOoOo

"Don't go!" Ida begged.

The Doctor stared into the abyss below him. Who knew how much farther it stretched? He could be five feet from the surface, he could be five hundred feet.

But a few moments ago, he'd felt Rose's jubilant victory. They'd handled the Ood on the surface, which meant it was down to him to go below, figure out what was going on, and hopefully find the TARDIS.

 _What if something goes wrong, and I don't make it?_ Losing a bond-mate was excruciating. To feel that pain and not even know what caused it… _I should have told her last night. She gave me an opening, more than one even. And I insisted on waiting, even though I wasn't sure we'd even get home._

He pinched the bridge of his nose. As much as he hated the possibility of leaving Rose like that, he had to go.

"Listen, Ida…" He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. "If they get back in touch, if you talk to Rose, just tell her… tell her…"

 _Tell her what? She already knows I love her, and I can't tell her about the bond through a third party. I just… I can't._

He closed his eyes and reached for their bond. Rose's utter faith in him radiated back to the Doctor, and he finally let himself believe he'd find the TARDIS. He didn't know how it would happen, but Rose believed it would, and he believed in her.

He realised the end of his sentence was still dangling, and he shook his head. "Oh, she knows," he said, even though the words were only half true. Then he let go of the cable and let himself drop, hoping and praying he would live through this so he could finally explain everything to Rose.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** Finally! Thank you to everyone who stuck with me as I struggled with this story. I cracked the code last night, and I love how this turned out.

Rose wasn't sure when she figured it out. When the Doctor reached for her telepathically to tell her he loved her? When Ida told them he was gone, and she knew— _she knew_ —he wasn't? When she woke up in the rocket and could feel his relief that she was safe, mixed in equal parts with a desperate fear that he would never see her again?

She bit her lip as she waited for him to finish his message to Zach, Ida, and Danny. _No, it was when I reached back to him to tell him I was never going to leave him, and I could tell he heard me._

That's when she'd realised this connection they had was not temporary. Somehow, he'd created a permanent link between them without asking or telling her.

So much made sense once she understood that. The Doctor had explained to her that on Gallifrey, telepathic contact—beyond the surface level his touch telepathy afforded him—was never done without consent. Going into another mind without their permission was not only forbidden, it was against the law.

Of course he was anxious and unwilling to talk about what was bothering him. He'd broken one of his culture's most unbending rules.

"Hang on though, Doctor," Ida said. "You never really said. You two, who are you?"

Rose's heart jumped into her throat; how would he answer that question?

The Doctor looked over at her, a hint of doubt in his eyes but a broad smile on his face. "Oh, the stuff of legend," he proclaimed, then turned the comms off.

"I think… I promised you we would talk now," he said, his voice quiet but steady.

Rose raised her eyebrows. After the way he'd dodged all her questions for the last 48 hours, she'd figured she'd have to pin him down, maybe even literally, to get him to tell her what had happened.

"Yeah, you did," she agreed. She looked down at her rumpled jacket. She didn't want to put him off if he was going to open up, but she felt disgusting. "I'd like a shower first, though. Meet me in the library in twenty minutes?" She toyed with the hem of her sleeve and looked up at him through her eyelashes.

The Doctor nodded. "And I'll find us some food. It's been hours since we ate."

Rose washed hurriedly and pulled on the first clean clothes she laid her hands on. Despite the Doctor's promises, she still had a hard time believing he wouldn't run from this conversation again, and she didn't want to give him any opportunity to get away.

But he was waiting for her on the couch in the library, hair damp from a shower and wearing only his trousers and oxford. The fact that he'd shed any of his armour at all gave her hope as she sat down next to him.

There was a plate of sandwiches on the coffee table, and she bit into one while debating where to start the conversation. She could confront him with what she'd figured out, or she could wait for him to explain himself.

As tempting as it was to shock him with her insight, she really wanted him to tell her. "All right, Doctor," she said, after wiping her mouth with a napkin. "Tell me why you've been so… uptight since we got back from Teruro."

The Doctor took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Well, you know my people were telepathic," he started, and she nodded. "Telepathy was, in many ways, our primary sense. There was a constant awareness of every single Gallifreyan at all times. That let the Time Lords recognise each other, even if one had regenerated since the last time they'd met."

"I never thought about that," Rose said. "Imagine me going home and running into Shareen or Keisha, but not recognising them because they'd changed so much."

"Exactly. It was a necessary ability." He loosened his tie and rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers. "There were also closer bonds between family members and loved ones," he continued. "We weren't a particularly… family oriented society, but parents and children and siblings still had a unique connection."

His gaze skittered away from her. "Sometimes, when closer communication was required with non-family members, we would form a light telepathic connection that was dissolved once the need was gone. That was the type of link I meant to form with you."

The Doctor paused, looking for the words to explain what had happened. In the end, he didn't need to.

"But that's not what happened, is it?" Rose asked.

He blinked twice; how could she… When he stared at her, she met his gaze without any condemnation. _Does she really understand what happened?_

The Doctor clenched his hands into fists. "No, it isn't, but I promise Rose, it's all I meant to do. Just a temporary link so I could share my telepathic barriers with you."

 _I wanted to keep you safe._ The last was said to himself, but when Rose smiled at him, he wondered if she had somehow heard him.

She reached out and took his hands. "Doctor, it's okay. I know that's what you meant to do. Just… tell me what happened."

He clutched her hands tightly and let the love and trust he felt flowing through her give him strength. "There was another kind of link… a bond that could be shared by romantic partners. Both partners would know each other completely, inside and out. And, unlike a simple short-term telepathic connection for communication, a bond like that was unbreakable."

To his surprise, Rose… wasn't. "I know," she told him. "Even at first, I knew this was different from any other time we've connected telepathically. It's like you're… you're there with me, in my head."

The Doctor flinched at the bald statement of fact. "Yes."

Rose pulled her hands back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you… Can you feel me like that too?" she asked.

"I… yes," the Doctor said, watching helplessly as she withdrew even further. "That's… that's how a bond works," he said, the words coming faster as he tried to explain before she cut herself off from him. "In a bond, there's a part of me in you, and a part of you in me." He ran his hand through his hair. "A bond with a human shouldn't be possible, but I think—"

"Bad Wolf," Rose cut in. "She made me telepathic so we could communicate."

He nodded. "And if I'd known you were telepathic, I'd never have gone into your mind without barriers in place. This… this shouldn't have been possible."

Rose scowled. "Well, I'm sorry if you don't want to be bonded to a human, but you're stuck with me."

"That's… what… where did you get that idea?" he sputtered.

She rolled her eyes. "Doctor, you just told me you wouldn't have touched me telepathically if you'd known this was a possibility."

"What kind of man marries the woman he's in love with without even asking her?" the Doctor exclaimed.

Rose stopped breathing. The Doctor's eyes widened when he realised what he'd said.

"Married?" she whispered, struggling to keep up with the sudden change in the conversation. _Or not a change,_ she realised. _I just didn't know what we were talking about before._

The Doctor slumped down into the sofa. "Yes. That's what I've been trying to tell you, Rose," he said. "This bond, this was essentially marriage for my people. _That's_ why I'm so upset. Forcing a link like this... This is the highest form of intimacy possible for telepaths, and I've locked you into it, without even asking."

Rose thought for a moment. "Except you said you didn't realise it had happened, right?" she asked. "So it's not like you consciously created the bond between us."

"Well, no, but if I'd been more aware, I would have realised you were telepathic and I would have known I shouldn't just go into your mind like that without my barriers in place." He bit his lip, and his soft, brown eyes were filled with remorse. "If you ever left me, the broken bond would give you chronic migraines."

She noticed he didn't say anything about what it would feel like for him—he probably felt like he would deserve the pain, since the bond had been created without her knowledge or consent. But here, finally, was a concern she knew how to answer.

"Doctor, I'm never gonna leave you."

Even without touching him, she could feel his doubt. Rose shook her head and took his hand, letting him feel the the depth of her commitment through that light, empathic connection. Someday soon, she would ask him to teach her out to use their bond to communicate, but for now, this would do.

"You keep thinking I'm going to realise what I'm missing on Earth, or that I'm going to find some life that's better than this, but you don't see that this is the life I want." She laughed and tightened her fingers around his. "You sent me home once, and I came right back—don't you remember?"

Wry amusement filtered through her mind. "I don't think I'll ever forget that."

"If I came back to you at the worst of moments, what makes you think I would ever willingly leave you?" She let go of his hand to brush her knuckles along his jaw. "Doctor, I love you, and I am never going to leave you."

She could feel the moment he finally believed her, and the joy breaking through his doubt took her breath away. He leaned in and brushed the softest kiss against her lips, and the tenderness made Rose's heart ache with love for him.

She sank her hand into his hair and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, sucking his bottom lip between hers. The Doctor immediately hummed his approval and nipped lightly at her upper lip in return.

The Doctor wrapped an arm around Rose's waist and tugged her closer. The movement shifted the angle of the kiss, and he took advantage of the opportunity to deepen it, licking at her lips and then stroking his tongue against hers when she opened for him. Holding Rose, kissing her, was one of his favourite things to do, and now that they were bonded, he could feel exactly how much she loved it, too.

It was tempting to sweep her up in his arms and carry her back to their room to show her how much he loved her, but something in the back of his mind kept saying, _Wait._

 _Wait for what?_ he argued with himself. _This will be our first night together as a bonded couple. Rose deserves a proper wedding night._

Ah. That's what he wanted to wait for.

He slowed the kiss reluctantly, pressing his forehead to Rose's and nearly losing the battle with his restraint when she tried to tilt her head back and recapture his lips.

"Wait," he breathed, and thankfully, she listened.

A moment later, he pulled back a few inches. There was a furrow in Rose's brow, and he traced it lovingly, then brushed a strand of hair back over her ear.

"I have a proposal," he said, over-emphasising the second syllable. Rose bit her lip, and he smiled when he felt her cautious excitement. "We bonded without any conscious thought, without consideration."

She opened her mouth, and he pressed his finger to her lips.

"I know you don't regret it, and if you don't, then neither do I. Being bonded to you, Rose… having you for a wife… I can't think of anything I want more in the universe."

She blinked back tears and smiled up at him. "Then what's your suggestion, Doctor?"

"Well…" He tugged on his ear. "I do feel cheated, a bit. If I'd known this was possible, I would have asked you properly, and prepared some kind of vows. Will you… will you let me do that now?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice hoarse. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Brilliant!" he exclaimed as he jumped to his feet, pulling her along with him. "I know just the place to go."

oOoOoOoOo

Rose gasped when she stepped out of the TARDIS fifteen minutes later. She turned slowly in a circle, taking in the incredible rock formations towering around them.

When she faced the Doctor again, he had his hands in his pockets and a hopeful smile on his face. "Do you like it?"

"I love it."

He grinned and held his hand out for her. "Then wait until you see what I really want to show you."

She took his hand and laughed when he pulled her forward until they were standing on the edge of a cliff. "Where are we?"

The Doctor stood close enough for her to feel his coat brush against her leg. "Cyllaro," he told her, the L in the middle making the word sound Welsh. "It means, "the cliff on the edge of forever."

Rose carefully looked ahead of her, not down. "Well, I can see why," she told him. "The view is incredible." She drank it in for another moment, then looked at the Doctor. "So, is there something special we say?"

A giddy smile tipped up the corners of his mouth. "There's no ceremony, if that's what you mean, but there's definitely something special."

She laughed and swung their hands between them. "All right then, Doctor. This was your plan. You take the lead."

"Rose Tyler." He paused, and the love in his eyes made her heart race. "How long are you going to stay with me?"

She thought about where they were, and she knew exactly what to say.

"Forever."

The Doctor grinned broadly. "Brilliant," he proclaimed, then tugged her close.

Rose dodged his kiss, and nearly laughed at the confused little furrow between his brows. "Vows are supposed to be mutual," she reminded him. A few giggles escaped when the tips of his ears turned red, and she moved her hands over his chest to link behind his neck. "Well, Doctor?" she purred. "How long are you going to stay with me?"

She held her breath. She hadn't forgotten the curse of the Time Lords, but hopefully, her Doctor could forget the cold facts just for a moment and give her the symbolic answer. When she didn't feel an ounce of fear from him, she relaxed and smiled up at him.

The Doctor placed his hands on his hips and pulled her closer. He bumped her nose with his, and Rose could feel his breath against her lips. "Oh, forever of course," he whispered.

Rose sighed happily when he cupped her jaw and pressed his lips to hers. Wind swept up the cliff face, ruffling her hair and making the Doctor's coat billow out around them. Like any mortal creatures, they didn't know how long they would have, but standing here with forever spread out at their feet, it was easy to believe the impossible.

The Doctor and Rose Tyler, forever.


End file.
